on connection
Most folks are surprised to learn that I am deeply introverted. I distinguish introversion from being shy, which is something I’m not — I don’t feel discomfort being around people — but given the choice of being around lots of folks or staying home alone, I’ll always choose the latter. I like my solitude, I guess. But I also admit that my inclination toward isolation probably isn’t that healthy, so a few weeks ago, when I was invited to New York City to do some coaching as part of a week-long mentorship program by Vital Voices, my gut told me that it would be good for me to go.
My gut was right.
Vital Voices is a nonprofit founded on the idea that nations and communities can’t move forward without women’s voices in leadership. This particular program was aimed at helping entrepreneurs from all over the world uplevel their work in the maker space. The participants came from far and wide: India. Nigeria. The Philippines. Democratic Republic of Congo. Kenya. Colombia. Lebanon. Serbia. And each of these brilliant women makes it her life’s work to improve her community by giving voice to the voiceless, and acknowledging the power of the astonishingly talented people they work with, all from villages most of us have never heard of.
The coaching was a lot of fun, but man, simply listening and learning from them was completely mind-shifting. Despite language barriers and cultural differences, I witnessed these women connect with each other, generously sharing their stories and their wisdom, all in a sincere effort to help make each other’s work stronger. What emerged was a sisterhood. It was a lesson in collaboration over competition, and how collective elevation and shared light can literally make the world brighter.
Incredible.
Witnessing their connections was a stark reminder that always — always — kindness is a power move. It is never the wrong choice, whether in creating lucrative businesses, running impactful conferences, developing educational facilities, and yes, even in powerful leadership. And when faced with seemingly impossible challenges or choices, we should always default to kind.
Once I returned from New York City, Marcus, Alex and I planned a quick little getaway. Alex began her summer job days after her semester ended, and has been away at her job all summer long, so we hadn’t really had a chance for any concentrated family time since Christmastime. Because Mexico is a quick, relatively inexpensive flight from Houston, we planned for a few days in Cozumel, off the Yucatán peninsula.
But then Hurricane Beryl decided to make a beeline for the Yucatán, too.
So mere days before we were supposed to leave for our trip, we decided to pivot. Which is how we found ourselves in Key Biscayne, just outside of Miami, Florida.
Once we got to Florida, I mentioned to just a few friends online that we were there. I received a pretty immediate response:
“Eh-eh?! But I’m just a little drive from there, you know? How long are you staying?”
It was from my friend Steve who, along with his brother, is one of the co-founders of Uncommon Caribbean, my favourite resource for everything about the Caribbean. Although they’re from St. Croix, their parents are from Trinidad, and at this point, Steve and Patrick feel like cousins. I’ve done several Instagram Lives with the two of them, and every time, we end up talking long after we log out — we catch up on each other lives, and generally give each other picong for hours afterward. I forgot that Steve and his family lived in the area. I didn’t wait a second to write back. And after a few minutes, we’d made a plan to meet him, his wife, and their kids at our hotel the following night.
Here’s the thing: even though Steve and I have been friends for over a decade, we’ve never actually met in person. So being able to hug him, his wife and their sons felt like a celebration. Steven even brought a bottle of extremely hard-to-get Trinidadian rum to celebrate.
It was such a great time. And it was another illustration to my inner introvert how wonderful spontaneous connection can be. And connection, of course, is good for us all: As US Attorney General Dr. Vivek Murthy says, “Connection, not hatred, is the glue that makes us feel we all truly belong ... While loneliness engenders despair and ever more isolation, togetherness raises optimism and creativity. When people feel they belong to one another, their lives are stronger, richer, and more joyful."
Amen.
So my wish for all of us this week is that we have moments of connection. Because all of us deserve stronger, richer and more joyful lives.
a reminder of cadence.