a new year's wish
“It’s not possible to constantly hone on the crisis.
You have to have the love and you have to have the magic.”
Well, hello, 2024!
Around here, this last week has been one of connection and quiet reflection. After a calm Christmas, the temperature in Houston dropped — not precipitously, but just enough to make evenings cozy — and the three of us have generally spent the nights watching bad TV, occasionally with a fire going, always with the last twinkly lights of the season sparkling in our house. And during the day, I’ve been preparing for the new year: clearing out my office, mapping out career plans in my journal, and, well, contemplating. And I’ve had a bit of an epiphany.
I was thinking about some of the famous people who died in 2023 (I know, macabre, but stay with me) — folks like Tina Turner, Tony Bennett, Harry Belafonte, but there are so many others — and I was thinking about what they were each known for, what their legacies are. And what I realized is that when I think of these three artists in particular, it occurs to me that each of these folks had incredibly challenging early lives, but they eventually overcame those challenges to create and curate lives that they loved. Of course, I also think about how they made me feel — the joy that their music, at various times in my life, inspired in me. And finally, I think about how they were each civil rights activists and trailblazers in their own right.
Their ability to create a joyful life.
The joy and light their artistry created.
Their commitment to fighting the darkness.
And as I considered what I hope for us all in the coming year, I can’t help but believe that there’s a lesson in how these folks lived.
The last five years or so have been insane, resulting in a bit of cognitive dissonance for us all (my friend MIra Jacob really says it best). And during this time, if you’ve been on social media at all, you’ve probably felt a bit yelled at when it comes to advice on how to change the world. “CALL YOUR GOVERNMENT REPRESENTATIVE!” “SILENCE IS COMPLICITY!” “SAY SOMETHINNNGGG!!!” It’s no wonder that we all feel like a bit of a jangling nerve.
But what if our priorities are a bit off? What if there’s something to that phrase, “hurt people hurt people”?
What if the most important thing we could do to make the world better is create a joyful, healthy life for ourselves, followed by creating and sharing our art to help make light for others, and THEN we fight the darkness?
I’m not suggesting that we all wait until we’re healthy and happy before addressing inequities and injustice — far from it. I believe it’s important to do all of it. I’m suggesting that we spend equal time — if not more — focusing on our own mental, physical and emotional health and wellness. That we ensure our wells are full first. And then — no surprise here — I’ve come to believe that the most effective way to fight darkness is to create more light: using our skills and our gifts in ways that flood our communities and the environment with goodness and light, so that we remember what’s worth fighting for. And once we’ve tended to our own health and worked to bring light into the world, then we address the darkness: we vote, we make our phone calls, we send our letters, we donate to our causes, we get loud, we march. We should do all of these things cyclicly, in a cadence: we care for ourselves, we shine for others, we fight.
We care for ourselves.
We shine for others.
We fight.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
And so, this is my wish for us all in 2024: that we shift our focus — often, on a cadence — to self-compassion, and then to creating good and light for the world, through our skills, and our art, and our intellects. We lead with kindness and empathy, in all things, including, finally, the fight against darkness. And then we do it all over again.
And in so doing, we fill each other up.
Happy New Year, friends. Here’s to a bright 2024.
A little about the new book.