evidence of your joy
As we approach the end of the year, with all its twinkle lights and silver bells and fa-la-la-la-la-ing, I think we all naturally start to think about what we want in the new year — so much so, in fact, I think it colours what we think of the current year. Suddenly, all we remember of 2023 are all the ways it went pear-shaped: health hiccups, maybe. Relationship challenges. Losses. Grief. And that’s before we even get to the global conflicts and climate catastrophes. “Bring it, 2024,” we say to ourselves. “And 2023, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
Well, easy there, li’l buckaroo. This year may not have been as bad as you think.
The truth is that no matter how horrible the year may feel, I promise you there was some good in it. Maybe that good showed up in the way a healthcare professional was gentle with a loved one. Or that one time your kid made you laugh and laugh and laugh. Or perhaps that night you spent reconnecting with an old friend, because they surprised you by being in town. Or the challenges you faced head-on, and the obstacles you overcame. Your year may have been challenging and hard, no question. But there were moments of lovely, I promise you.
As I approach the end of the year, before I start making huge fantastical plans for the coming year (and oh, I will), I like to take a moment to appreciate the current year with a few journaling prompts and questions, purely to uncover those moments of lovely. So, in the hopes that these prompts are helpful to you, too, here they are. Answer any or all of these to find the gold in 2023:
What were all the ways, big and small, that 2023 was lovely? I’m not just talking about the huge adventures or being the recipient of big gestures — I’m talking about the little things, too. Think of the weddings you attended, the big accomplishments you achieved, the trips you took; but also, the quiet moments at home, the great book you read, the beautiful day you spent outside. If you’re having trouble thinking of any, go through your calendar for the past year and see what it turns up (“oh, right, I forgot about that end-of-school-year pizza party with my closest friends, that was a lot of fun!”). If that doesn’t help, go through the archive of the images on your phone. We rarely pull out our phones to capture images of sadness — those photo archives can be treasure troves.
What are the ways you triumphed this year? Did you start a job you loved? Quit a job you hated? Saw a project through to the end? Managed a difficult situation with integrity? Worked through a disappointment and gained deeper knowledge about yourself or the other people involved? Stood up for yourself? Showed someone grace? Make a list of the ways that you showed up, whether or not things ended up the way you intended.
How have you grown this year? How are you different from this time last year? What have you learned that you want to make you take with you into the new year? Chances are that 2023’s experiences have left a mark on you — how can their lessons make you better?
And that’s it! The upshot is this: before I write off a year as a loss, I take a moment to see if there are any parts of the year that are worth taking forward with me. (And, for the record, there are always parts of the year that are worth taking forward.) Answering these questions helps me identify what I want more of, but beautifully, it also gives me a starting point for dreaming big for the new year.
But more about that in the coming weeks, friends.
A little about the new book.