how to socially distance in 2020

First, pour yourself a glass of wine to take outside to the curb in front of your house.

Next, convince your husband to join you.

Then, when you see your neighbours peek outside, wave at them to come join you. They’ll pour their own beverages, and sit on the curb in front of their house. Begin catching up by shouting across the street.

See more neighbours in an hour than you’ve seen in the past year. As they jog by (always keeping at least 15 feet minimum, achieved by them running in the middle of the street), yell “Happy social distancing!” They will laugh, and yell it back. One neighbour who is in his car, will stop in the middle of the road and collapse with laughter when he realizes you and your neighbours are conducting a conversation by yelling across the street.

After an hour, go back inside to cook dinner. Vow to do it again tomorrow, assuming the weather holds up.

Bonus points: convince your musician daughter to bring her guitar out and play. (We haven’t achieved bonus points yet, but I’m committed.)

Soundtrack: Sober by Childish Gambino

---

---