*Carmen Alexis, a few months before her death, at 102 years old (!).*

When I was a teenager, for the two years between the ages of 14 and 16 years old, I lived with my maternal grandparents, Henry and Carmen Alexis. I was incredibly close to them (so close, in fact, I named my daughter after them) — they were very kind, and funny, with a deep faith.

My grandmother in particular was a devout Catholic (as is my mother, and I was raised in a very Catholic house, although I attend an Episcopal church these days). When I was a kid, both my mother and my grandmother had altars in their bedrooms. My mother’s altar was on her dressing table, understated, with a statue of Jesus; but my grandmother’s was particularly impressive. Hers was on her chest of drawers in a back corner of her bedroom, and in addition to being covered in lace doilies (that I’m pretty sure she crocheted), a book of daily devotionals, and a rosary, it had a huge statue of the Virgin Mary. This blonde-haired-blue-eyed statue depicted Mary standing on a snake*, her arms open, a soft smile on her face. I remember being spellbound by this statue. I never saw my grandmother praying in front of the altar, but I do know that the book of devotionals was well-worn.

In my home office, I have an altar myself — of a sort. I don’t have any religious statues, but I do keep the photograph of my grandmother there, as well as an old rosary my mother gave me when I was in my 20s, and a few other items that are important to me: a couple of crystals that were gifts, a scented candle, and a tiny music box that plays one of the songs from the Amélie soundtrack when you turn the crank — that movie was the first one Marcus and I went to when we were dating. I don’t pray in front of it, but it’s still really important to me, a grounding space that feels like a soul rest when I look at it. I’ve always meant to learn more about personal altars — especially since I live in Texas, which is so influenced by Mexican culture, and around this time of year, the Día de los Muertos altars that have begun to appear have always intrigued me. But I’ve never gotten around to it.

However, out of the blue earlier this month, I received an email:

My name is José Coira, Sales Manager at Casa Maestri. Casa Maestri is the most awarded tequila distillery in Mexico. I would love to send you a tequila Day of the Dead kit because we made an amazing brand of tequila called Doña Celia. This kit is a DIY Día de Los Muertos altar kit, which comes with all the traditions of Mexico for you to celebrate and also, included in the box is your very own Doña Celia tequila mini bottle made from ceramic and hand painted.

Whoa, seriously?

I emailed him back, to ask him what they wanted in return — all they asked for was an image of the altar on my Instagram account. But I was so grateful to receive it, with all the information that was included, I decided that I wanted to share it here, as well.

Día de los Muertos (the “Day of the Dead”) is celebrated in Mexico on All Saint’s Day and All Soul’s Day, typically on November 1st and 2nd. On those two days, families and friends gather to celebrate the life and pray for loved ones who have passed. As part of the celebration, the families and friends build an altar that includes photographs of their loved ones (an altar de muertos) — and according to the information in the packet I received from Casa Maestri, these are the other elements that are often included on the altar de muertos:

Salt — It is a symbol for the purification of the soul, as well as to prevent the arrival of evil spirits. Salt is placed in glasses or in the shape of a cross.
Water — In the altars it is customary to place a glass or a jug with water so that the deceased can quench his thirst after the trip to the world of the living.
Flowers — Cempasuchil flowers are orange and are mostly known by their aroma. Their color evokes the sun in the Aztec tradition, and it’s believed that the aroma guides the dead to the entrance of the world of the living.
Paper — The use of papel picado consists of cutting the silhouettes of skulls, or words related to the Day of the Dead. This comes from an Aztec tradition.
Pan de Muerto — This bread has a circular shape like the cycle of life and death. The circle in the center is a skull; the shapes on the sides are tears of those who mourn the deceased, and also symbolize the cardinal points dedicated to different gods: Quetzalcóatl, Tláloc, Xipe Tútec and Tezcatlipoc.
Skull — The skulls or calaveritas are images that remind us that “sweet death” is part of life, and the importance of its acceptance.
Candles — Candles are used to represent fire, in order that the deceased have enlightenment and can recognize their way to the world of the living.
Food — Our loved ones must be hungry after their long trip to the world of the living. The food represents a warm welcome with their favorite dish so they can enjoy.

I loved learning about this, and while I don’t think I’ll keep every element of this altar on my own altar — it doesn’t seem appropriate — but I’ll definitely include la Catrina, the Doña Celia ceramic bottle, on my altar. Mexico has grown very important to our family over the years (not only because we love visiting the country, but also our daughter Alexis is Afrolatina and half Mexican herself). This very sweet gift feels like an appropriate inclusion.

Thanks, Casa Maestri. (And incidentally, the tequila is fantastic.)