compassion is the name of the game
On Monday mornings, I’m usually in the habit of going to a nearby coffeehouse to work. This past Monday, after I dropped Alex off at school and was heading back that way, I suddenly thought:
Do I really want to spend a few hours in a crowded coffeehouse?
Call me paranoid, but I decided I didn’t. I drove past the coffeehouse and went to a nearby arboretum. I took photos, journaled, even did a little work on my computer. Spring is coming, and it was good to see the reminder of verdant life that still exists in the world.
But of course, even with this lovely nature break, things continue to deteriorate around the world, and certainly here in the United States. And now, Tom Hanks, for God’s sake?
Coronavirus, you go too far.
Days after my walk in the arboretum (and not for the first time), I’ve officially lost all faith that those in power have any clue how to handle a crisis. Actions from world leaders and even local school districts leaves me more confused than ever, when it comes to looking for direction on how to keep myself and my community safe. It’s confounding and it’s infuriating.
So. My lovelies, it’s time for a reminder: what do we do when we can’t rely on leaders to give us guidance during an anxious time?
We tie our hair back, roll up our sleeves, and handle things ourselves.
This is absolutely no time to wring our hands, wailing and gnashing our teeth — this does absolutely nothing to improve our situation, and make no mistake, we have to improve our situation. It is time to take care of ourselves, and take care of each other. Compassion and self-compassion are the names of the game, 24/7 — because if we lead with compassion and self compassion, not only might we actually stem the tide of this pandemic, we’ll actually feel better, too.
So how do we practice compassion and self-compassion? Right now, this looks like:
💦 Washing our hands more diligently. I know you’ve heard this ad nauseum, but until this is over, it bears repeating. One piece of advice that a doctor friend gave me that I’d never considered before this virus started spreading: in addition to washing your hands after you use the bathroom and before preparing food, consider cultivating a habit of washing your hands as soon as you come home. Also, I’m keeping a little bottle of hand sanitizer in my car, so every time I get in, I just use a bit before I grab the steering wheel. (Out of hand sanitizer? Here’s how to make your own — and it smells good, too!)
💦 Cleaning our surfaces more often. Don’t forget faucet handles, toilet seats, door handles and your cell phone. I’ve been using Clorox wipes, but I’m sure rubbing alcohol would also do the trick.
💦If possible, making arrangements to work from home. I know that not everybody has the luxury of doing this, but if you can, do. The more people we can get “socially distancing,” the better. Let’s flatten the curve, friends — remember, working from home isn’t just about keeping yourself safe, it’s also about keeping others safe, especially those populations who are particularly vulnerable to the virus affecting their health more seriously than others (not to mention overwhelming health care systems around the world — it’s not like they’re not already busy healing people from other life-threatening diseases, accidents, and so on). Flattening the curve is the essence of compassion.
💦 Checking in with each other. Maintaining our social connections is one of the ways that we can help reduce our collective stress (which is frustrating, during this time where hugs and handshakes are generally frowned upon). Set up Facetime or other video-conferencing dates with your friends, especially those who might be out of town. (My dear friend Mark in Sweden and I have had a couple of tea breaks this year already — we each get our mugs of tea and our computers, and just chat as if one of us had stopped by). And please, we mustn’t forget checking in on our friends who might be members of vulnerable communities and our friends who are health care workers — they are particularly stressed right now, as exposure to this virus could literally mean life or death. And finally, don’t forget our friends who suffer from anxiety or mental illness during the best of times — right now probably feels particularly hellish for them. Listen to your friends. Cheer each other up. Now’s the time to stay emotionally connected, if we can’t stay physically connected.
💦 Checking in with ourselves. Now is the time to monitor your own health — and this is where the self-compassion comes in. Monitor our own health: hydrate, get lots of sleep, eat well, move in ways that feel good. (For me, this morning, it meant jump roping and hula hooping to Lizzo for 30 minutes. Don’t judge — we all have our coping mechanisms.) Go outside and take a deep breath of fresh air. And if you feel the anxiety creeping up, take a self-compassion break. (I can’t stress this enough: self-compassion breaks got me through some of my toughest times over the past couple of years, and they continue to help get my mind in the right space to keep making light.)
💦Did I mention washing our hands?
This is an anxious time, friends. Take moments to breathe. Repeat after me: “compassion and self-compassion are the names of the game.” And for the love of God, do not feel guilty for feeling worried or frightened — this is all-new territory we’re in, here.
I’m with you, lovelies. Stay safe. Make light.
(P.S. There are more tips on this week’s episode of The Make Light Show.)
Soundtrack: Truth hurts by Lizzo. Trust me, any Lizzo song will make you feel better, but here’s a bonus: if you sing the second verse along with her, that’s the length of time you should be washing your hands, up to and including the “bom bom bi dom bi dum bum bay.” You’re welcome.
don't forget to mark the milestones.